If you’ve ever been told ‘you seem fine’, ‘but you’re high functioning’, or ‘just take your meds’ — this one’s for you.
The ADHD Mums community is smart. You already know ADHD isn’t just for boys. You know autism doesn’t mean flapping hands or rocking in a corner. You’ve heard the basics.
But the myths didn’t disappear. They just got sneakier.
They’re baked into well-meaning advice. Hidden in diagnosis delays. Woven through school systems and social scripts that gaslight the hell out of women.
So let’s call it what it is: outdated. Harmful. And not helping anyone.
1. If you’re ‘high functioning’, you can’t be neurodivergent
Being ‘high functioning’ usually just means you’re good at masking. At performing. At looking like you’ve got it together while melting inside.
It’s not a diagnosis. It’s a social label. And it hides people who are drowning under the weight of their own overperformance.
You can raise three kids, run a business, and be suicidal by lunchtime. You can get straight As and still hate yourself.
Masking makes your pain invisible — to others and sometimes to yourself.
2. ADHD is just executive dysfunction
Executive dysfunction is part of ADHD. But it’s not the whole picture.
There’s also:
- Emotional dysregulation
- Time blindness
- Rejection sensitivity
- Sensory sensitivity
- Hyperfocus and burnout
- Shame cycles from caring too much
You can have decent planning skills and still live in emotional chaos.
3. Medication fixes everything
It doesn’t.
It helps. For some. Sometimes.
But meds won’t teach you to regulate your nervous system, advocate in school meetings, or dismantle internalised perfectionism.
Meds don’t fix trauma. They don’t solve parenting overload. They don’t rewrite years of masking.
If your meds aren’t fixing everything, it’s not because you’re doing it wrong. It’s because ADHD isn’t a pill problem. It’s a systems problem.
4. You can tell if a kid is autistic just by looking
This one’s not just wrong — it’s dangerous.
You can’t spot masking. You can’t see sensory overload in a kid who’s trying to please everyone. You can’t know how hard they’re working just to look ‘fine’.
Especially in girls. Especially in kids who present as polite, quiet, or ‘gifted’.
Autism isn’t a vibe. It’s a neurological profile. And it’s constantly misread.
5. The goal is to ‘catch up’ and be normal
Nope.
The goal is to stop organising your life around other people’s expectations — and start building systems that support your brain.
That means:
- Lowering the bar (on purpose)
- Asking for help (before you collapse)
- Prioritising nervous system safety
- Unlearning perfectionism and people-pleasing
You’re not here to be normal. You’re here to function without burning out.
6. Neuroaffirming parenting means ‘letting them do whatever they want’
It doesn’t.
Being neuroaffirming means:
- Understanding your kid’s wiring
- Supporting emotional regulation
- Setting clear, kind, consistent boundaries
It’s not permissive. It’s not passive. It’s not about ignoring behaviour.
It’s scaffolding your kid’s growth without forcing them into neurotypical compliance.
7. If you don’t love being a mum all the time, you’re doing it wrong
This one’s the quiet killer.
You’re allowed to hate parts of motherhood. You’re allowed to feel trapped, overloaded, overstimulated.
You can love your kids and still resent the daily grind.
If you’re not feeling grateful and hashtag-blessed every damn minute — you’re not broken. You’re tired. You’re human. You’re a mum in a system that doesn’t support you.
Want to hear this unpacked in full?
This blog is based on Season 3, Ep 4: The Advanced ADHD + Neurodivergence Myths… Busted.
Listen now on Spotify | Apple Podcast