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Tune into the full episode here → Too Much? Or Just Tired of Everyone’s Bullsh*t: ADHD, RSD & Emotional Intensity
Apparently, “too much” is only cute in toddlers and white wine pours.
Ever opened with an apology… for existing?
I used to greet people like I was a human disclaimer.
“Hi, I’m Jane. Sorry about my personality – I know I’m intense.”
Imagine starting every conversation like a walking HR risk.
Not because I’d done anything wrong – but because I’d been conditioned to believe that my emotional intensity was a public health hazard.
And judging by the emails, DMs, and T-shirts in my Facebook group, I know I’m not the only one.
What is RSD – and why does it feel like your brain’s trying to set your life on fire?
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is that bonus-level ADHD experience where even imagined rejection feels like your soul’s been drop-kicked.
It’s what turns:
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A missed wave at school pickup
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A vague tone in a text
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Or a group catch-up you weren’t invited to
…into a three-day shame spiral, multiple apology messages, and a 2am forensic analysis worthy of a Royal Commission.
It’s not “just being sensitive.” It’s your limbic system in overdrive. And it’s exhausting.
This is why you feel like an emotional flamethrower in a house full of petrol
Because you probably are.
ADHD means your brain reacts fast, deep, and hard – and when you’re parenting small humans who are also falling apart because someone touched their yoghurt lid… yeah. Good luck staying zen.
Cue:
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Snapping at your partner
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Feeling instantly ashamed
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Over-apologising to people who didn’t even notice
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Nuking the group chat because you couldn’t sit with the discomfort
Sound familiar? That’s RSD + no sleep + no space + no village.
The first 10 minutes will make or break you
RSD is like a burn. And what you do in those first few minutes after the scald matters.
Here’s your rule: Do. Not. React. Yet.
Don’t send the email.
Don’t fire off the text.
Don’t try to solve the crisis with a brain currently doing interpretive cortisol dance.
Wait 10 minutes.
Walk. Breathe. Sit on the toilet and pretend you’re your husband. (No judgement — if this becomes a 40-minute holiday, you’re welcome.)
Scripts > Silence > Spirals
You don’t need to be perfectly calm — but you do need a script that keeps you from saying something that’ll haunt you at 3am.
Try:
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“I need a moment to calm down before we talk.”
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“I’ve got some big feelings and I need space.”
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“Mummy’s going outside for just a moment – be right back.”
Bonus tip: I made a Calm Down Corner (a.k.a. an Emotional Panic Bunker). Mine’s outside on the deck where no one goes often. With snacks. Obviously.
Stop letting emotional chaos call the shots
Start planning before the meltdown.
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Make a list of your top RSD triggers
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Write a “rejection response plan” you can whip out mid-spiral
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Have sensory grounding tools you actually like (not the ones Instagram told you to use — the ones that work)
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And yes pre-emptive scripts for awkward social moments are fair game. Keep them in your Notes app like emotional cheat codes.
Want a plan for your next spiral?
Download the Emotional Intensity Kit for ADHD Mums — it’s full of scripts, grounding tools, and practical ways to stop RSD from running the show.
→ Grab the kit here
Let’s talk boundaries (a.k.a. rejection-proofing your nervous system)
If you’re volunteering out of guilt, replying instantly out of anxiety, or over-explaining yourself to stay “likeable” – you’re leaking emotional energy everywhere.
Tighten it up. Try:
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“Thanks for asking – I’ll need to check my schedule.”
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“I can’t commit right now.”
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Or the golden oldie: silence.
(You don’t owe everyone access to you.)
Emotional intensity isn’t always your flaw… sometimes, it’s your superpower.
You feel deeply. You care fiercely. You cry at injustice and kitten videos.
You’re not “too much” – you’re just surrounded by people who prefer less.
And who says they’re right?
Your emotional intensity:
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Makes you an incredible advocate
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Connects you to others in real, meaningful ways
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Fuels your creativity, empathy, and humour
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Is probably your best friend’s favourite thing about you
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Absolutely terrifies people whose strongest feeling is “mildly annoyed”
Let them be uncomfortable. That’s their problem – not yours.
Final note (and yes, I’m saying this to myself too)
You don’t have to be perfectly regulated to be a good mum.
But you do get to stop hating your own emotional wiring.
Teach your kids how to handle big feelings by showing them:
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It’s okay to have them
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You’re working on it
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Repair matters more than perfection
Because your feelings aren’t too much.
And neither are you.
Feeling seen?
The Emotional Intensity Kit is your next step – no pastel fluff, just real tools for real moments.
Scripts, strategies, calm-down ideas, and a way through the spiral.
→ Download the kit now
This blog was just the highlights. Hear it all in Season 2 Episode 83 here
