Listen to the full chat instead → Mum Rage Part 1: You’re Not a Monster, You’re Cooked
Because “just regulate your emotions” is about as helpful as a wet tissue in a house fire.
Let’s stop pretending rage means you’re a bad mum
If you’ve ever slammed a door, sworn into a pillow, or fantasised about vanishing to a remote Airbnb with no kids and a fridge full of cheese — you’re not unhinged. You’re a burnt-out woman living under a broken system, probably with ADHD, and definitely without enough backup.
Mum rage isn’t a personal failing. It’s what happens when the mental load, the noise, the touching, the constant bloody need from everyone — reaches critical mass. And if you’ve got a neurodivergent brain that’s more reactive to sensory overwhelm and executive dysfunction? Buckle up.
Why it builds (and why it’s not your fault)
Dr Jacinta Thompson nailed this: Mum rage doesn’t just appear. It simmers. It builds in tiny, shitty moments that stack up like Jenga blocks made of sandpaper:
- That subtle jaw clench when your kid touches your face again
- The sigh when your partner breathes too loud near you
- The moment your bra underwire snaps and that’s the final straw
And boom — you’re screaming over the dishwasher or stress-cleaning the garage at 10pm because it’s the only thing you can control.
The hidden shame spiral after the storm
You snap. Then you hate yourself. Then you apologise too much. Then you clean. Then you go quiet. Repeat.
But here’s the thing: rage is often the surface emotion. Underneath? It’s overwhelm. Helplessness. Trapped energy in a nervous system that’s been red-lining for too long.
The patriarchy’s got its filthy hands in this, too
Most of us grew up seeing anger as something men were allowed to express, while women had to stay calm, gentle, grateful. Angry mums? “Crazy”. “Unstable”. “Selfish”.
So when we do lose it, we don’t just feel bad — we feel defective. Which is absolute crap.
Know your rage thermometer
Jacinta shares this game-changing tip: Track your activation like a stress thermometer.
0 = fully zen (aka never)
10 = about to throw a lunchbox out the car window
Start noticing:
- Gritty floor rage
- Breathing tension
- The moment you start death-staring your partner for simply existing
These are your 7s and 8s. Catch them early, and you might avoid a full-blown rage spiral.
You’re not angry for no reason. You’re angry because this is bloody hard.
If you’re:
- Cleaning while crying
- Screaming into a steering wheel
- Picturing your family waving you off to a solo life in Fiji
…it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means your body is screaming louder than your polite mask can hold. You’re not the problem. The pressure is.
Hear it from Jane and her guest, Dr. Jacinta in Mum Rage Part 1: You’re Not a Monster, You’re Cooked
Stay tuned for Part 2: the actual strategies that work when you’re spiralling. Spoiler: it’s not yoga. (Unless your yoga class includes rage-punching a pillow.)
#MumRage #ADHDParenting #SensoryOverload #RageIsReal #StopTellingMeToBreathe
