Too tired to read? → Listen to the episode instead: Mum Rage Part 2: How to Cope Without Changing Your Entire Personality
Because sometimes the only thing standing between you and a breakdown is locking yourself in the loo with a Twirl.
You can’t out-manage rage with a to-do list
We’re not here to cure rage. We’re here to learn how to cope with it before it burns down your entire house — emotionally, mentally, or via actual fire.
Dr Jacinta Thompson returned to ADHD Mums to give practical, real-world strategies. Not platitudes. Not toxic positivity. Actual tools that work in the moment.
Strategy 1: Put yourself in time out
Yes, you. Not the toddler. Not the partner. You.
If you’re at a 9 on the rage scale:
- Lock yourself in the bathroom
- Sit in the car and scream
- Text your best mate ‘I’m going to murder someone’ (she’ll get it)
Time outs aren’t weakness. They’re circuit breakers.
Strategy 2: Complete the stress cycle
If you’re trying to ‘just calm down’ while your nervous system is in fight-or-flight mode, it’s not going to work. You can’t affirmation your way out of rage.
Try:
- Rage-cleaning (officially endorsed)
- Doing squats or burpees like an angry gym rat
- Screaming into a pillow (or steering wheel)
- Aggressively wiping benches while muttering
Move it through. Don’t bottle it. This is science, not woo-woo.
Strategy 3: Replace the ‘but’ with ‘and’
This is the sneaky shame-breaker from Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT):
Instead of:
‘I need space, but I should be more patient.’
Say:
‘I need space and I’m still a good mum.’
Instead of:
‘I want rest, but there’s too much to do.’
Say:
‘There’s too much to do and I still need to rest.’
It’s subtle. But it tells your brain: these feelings can co-exist. You’re not failing. You’re just being honest.
Strategy 4: Find your rage release valve
Whether it’s:
- Your 5pm gym class
- Yelling to angry punk in the car
- WhatsApp venting to your rage BFF
That release matters. It brings you back down from the ledge so you don’t explode over banana peels and undone Lego.
Bonus strategy: Rage journalling (or Notes app rants)
Jacinta says tracking what sends you into orbit helps catch it earlier next time.
Can’t be arsed to journal? Open Notes and type:
‘Today I nearly stabbed someone over toast crumbs. I was at a 9/10. It built from sensory overload and zero backup. Next time, I’ll disappear into the bathroom sooner.’
Boom. Data logged.
Also – medication is not failure
If rage is swallowing your days and none of this is touching the sides? Medication can help. SSRIs can support mood regulation. ADHD meds can reduce overwhelm. This isn’t cheating. This is surviving with a nervous system that’s already overworked.
You are not broken. You are responding to an impossible load.
The goal isn’t to never feel angry. The goal is to:
- Know what your warning signs are
- Intervene early
- Model repair and realness to your kids
- Stop silently blaming yourself for losing it in a system built to break you
Want Jacinta’s full rage strategy breakdown? Listen to Part 2 now via ADHD Mums. It’s like therapy, but with more swearing and less paperwork.
#MumRageStrategies #RageCleanTherapy #ADHDMums #RealParenting #StopTellingMeToJustBreathe
