⚠️ Content Warning: This post discusses child sexual abuse, grooming, and child safety. If this is a difficult topic for you, please take care while reading. But if you’re a parent, I encourage you to stick with it – because avoiding it won’t make it go away.
I recorded this episode with Kristi McVee, and let me tell you – this one hit hard. Kristi is a former detective, child abuse investigator, and specialist child interviewer. She’s been in the rooms, hearing the stories that most of us wish weren’t true. Now, she’s on a mission to make sure parents actually know how to keep their kids safe.
I thought I had a solid grasp on child safety. I’ve done the basics:
- Teaching my kids about “stranger danger”
- Setting up online safety filters
- Assuming I could spot a predator a mile away.
But what Kristi shared? It flipped everything I thought I knew.
Here’s what I learned:
90% of child abuse is committed by someone the child knows.
That whole “white van offering lollies” thing? It’s a myth that’s done more harm than good. The reality is, kids are far more likely to be abused by a relative, a coach, a family friend – someone already in their world.
Grooming doesn’t look how you think it does.
We picture creepy old men lurking in parks, but the real danger is often someone gaining a child’s trust, making them feel special, and isolating them emotionally before anything even happens.
Kids don’t “tell” the way we think they will.
They don’t sit down and say, “Mum, something bad happened.” Instead, they might:
- Act out or become withdrawn.
- Suddenly refuse to see someone they once loved.
- Start bedwetting again.
And tragically, research shows that only 1 in 3 adults believe children when they disclose abuse.
So, What Do We Do?
This is where we can step in – not with fear, but with knowledge.
✅ Teach body safety from the youngest age.
Conversations about consent and personal boundaries should start as soon as kids can talk. “Your body belongs to you” isn’t just a cute phrase – it’s a life skill.
✅ Create an environment where kids feel safe talking to you.
If we overreact about small things, they’ll test us to see if we’ll handle the big stuff. That means how we respond to “I broke a rule” moments can shape whether they trust us with “something happened to me” moments.
✅ Stop assuming this won’t happen to your child.
This was a hard pill for me to swallow. But thinking “that would never happen to my child” isn’t protecting them – it’s just making it easier for predators to operate undetected.
This episode is a must-listen. I promise it’s not all doom and gloom – Kristi also shares what actually works to keep kids safe. Because knowledge is power, and avoiding this topic isn’t an option.
Download my free Body Safety & Child Protection Kit for practical steps, conversation starters, and what to look out for.
We’re in this together. Let’s make sure our kids are actually safe – not just feel safe.
Jane
