‘If small talk feels like a full-body costume change — you’re not antisocial, you’re exhausted.’
️“It’s not the plans that drain me. It’s the pretending. The energy it takes to mask, to be ‘on’, to carry a version of myself that people find easier to be around.”
Episode Summary
In this Quick Reset, Jane names the burnout so many late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic women carry: the constant shape-shifting, masking, and nervous system labour of socialising — even with people we like.
This isn’t about flakiness or avoidance. It’s about survival.
The mental gymnastics of scripting conversations, managing tone, and suppressing overwhelm takes a toll. And when your battery’s already flat from parenting, planning, and daily life? Canceling isn’t quitting. It’s a kindness.
If you’ve ever ditched plans not because you didn’t want to go — but because you couldn’t afford the performance? This one will meet you where you are.
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Related Resources
- Need tools for rest without guilt? Try the Meltdown/Shutdown Kit
- Struggling with daily overwhelm? Managing Everyday Life from ADHD Mums offers practical, neurodivergent-friendly tips for navigating the mental load when you’re running on empty.
- Visit ADHD Mums for more resources
