There are a million things on our plates as parents, especially when we’re raising neurodivergent kids. Therapy appointments, school meetings, emotional regulation, executive function challenges – by the time we’ve handled all of that, it’s easy to assume that serious safety conversations can wait.
I used to think the same.
I thought I was doing all the right things. I taught my kids to speak up if something felt wrong. But after talking with Kristi McVee, a former detective and expert in child safety, I realised something massive was missing.
I had no idea how to have body safety conversations.
Because here’s the thing: most of us weren’t actually taught what real-world safety looks like for kids. And the outdated, fear-based approaches we grew up with? They leave dangerous gaps in what our kids understand.
What I Learned (That Changed Everything)
Many of us think abuse prevention is about teaching kids to say no and avoid strangers.
But in reality?
- Most abusers aren’t strangers.
- And kids – especially neurodivergent kids who take things literally or struggle with social cues – may not realise something is unsafe.
- Most kids do try to tell someone – but often in subtle ways that adults miss.
- Abusers use games, secrecy, and familiar faces to build trust – so just telling kids to ‘say no’ isn’t enough.
Kristi shared some eye-opening truths in this episode:
This isn’t about creating paranoia. It’s about giving our kids the tools they need to navigate the world safely. Because hoping it doesn’t happen isn’t a strategy.
Where to Start
Kristi broke down practical, age-appropriate ways to start these conversations – without scaring our kids.
- Use the correct names for private body parts (no cutesy nicknames – this reduces confusion and manipulation).
- Helping kids recognise their early warning signs (e.g. feeling sick, sweaty or nervous).
- Teach the difference between secrets and surprises (because secrecy is a key tactic used by abusers).
- Talk about boundaries and consent in everyday moments (so it’s not a once-off conversation).
- Help kids to identify tricky people (because the danger usually isn’t from strangers).
I know – it’s another thing to add to the parenting list. OMFG. But this one? This one is worth it.
That’s why I put together a free downloadable kit with scripts, key takeaways, and steps to help you start these conversations today.
Download the How to Have Safety Conversations Without Scaring Your Child Toolkit – S2 Ep 74 HERE
Want the episode kit from Kristi’s other episode too? Get them here.
Listen to the Full Episode [Part 2] with Kristi McVee Here
Let’s start talking. Let’s make changes. And let’s keep our kids safe.
– Jane
