Relationships and ADHD with Shantelle Poynter

Jane's back with one of her favourite guests Shantelle to discuss relationships and ADHD.

Shantelle is a neurodiverse Mother of two neurodiverse children who is a nurse in Brisbane.

Highlights include:

-       Knowledge is power – the awareness of diagnosis is so important for ourselves and our children.

-       Shame that we carry in our lives “Stop talking!” “You’re too loud or too much”

-       Why do we people please instead of asking for what we need in relationships.

-       Should we disclose to our children ‘labels’ – does it combat self hatred – is it better for kids to know, would we have preferred to know?

-       Do we people please because we are so grateful to have a friend?

-       Compliance at school = more responsibility at school. But can our girls handle it?

-       If you put extra curricular activites or opportuntiies in front ADHD females/girls we will DO IT but at our own expense. 

-       Are ADHD females so far behind socially that we grow up late, how can we navigate friendship without learning the basics?

-       All the assumed knowledge of social situations that ADHD females are supposed to learn as teenagers but some of us come into marriage or mid 30s still having no idea of how to navigate social situations.

-       Boys get diagnosed more often and earlier so they have more chances to learn to regulate emotions than girls.

-       Do we get so emotional because we can’t regulate our emotions so we cry or yell instead of being assertive?

-       Thrill of new relationships, new jobs – starting again so often! Then we miss the chance to navigate conflict in friendships and partnerships.

-       How do we say no to unreasonable things?


Please if you have some tips send me a VM and I'll play it next episode or send me a DM.

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Check out other podcasts: ADHD Mums Podcast

About the Author Jane McFadden

Jane McFadden, former psychologist turned neurodiversity specialist, found her passion after a late ADHD and autism diagnosis. She's the founder of Australia's largest online psychology company, helping veterans with PTSD. Now, she hosts the popular podcast "ADHD Mums" and speaks on neurodiversity, focusing on women and girls. Jane resides on the Sunshine Coast with her family.

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