For years, women have turned up at the GP with migraines, rage, exhaustion, and insomnia. And for years, we’ve been handed SSRIs. Because when it comes to women’s health, the default assumption is: mental illness.

Doctors said anxiety. But for many ADHD mums, the truth is something entirely different: hormones colliding with histamine.

When Your “Breakdown Week” Isn’t About Coping Skills

ADHD mums know the week. The one where everything feels impossible. You snap at the kids. You melt down over nothing. You lie awake at night with racing thoughts or chronic insomnia.

It gets framed as failure. Poor coping skills. Stress. “Overreacting.”

But what if that “breakdown week” isn’t about your personality at all? What if it’s your oestrogen spiking and histamine quietly wrecking your brain?

This isn’t drama. It’s biochemistry. And it collides brutally with ADHD.

Symptoms We’re Told to Minimise

Histamine and hormone fluctuations can trigger:

• Heavy bleeding
• Insomnia or unrefreshing sleep
• Migraines and rage
• Meltdowns over “nothing”

And yet, when mums show up with this exact list, we’re dismissed. “Have you tried yoga?” “Maybe cut back on coffee.” Or the all-time favourite: “You’re just anxious.”

These aren’t personality quirks. They’re physiological reactions — in bodies science has barely bothered to study.

Why ADHD Women Get Hit Harder

ADHD brains already run on low reserves. Throw in hormonal crashes and histamine surges, and it’s like pouring petrol on a fire.

Neurodivergent women are more likely to:

• Live with chronic stress and cortisol overload
• Experience genetic differences in histamine regulation
• Be misdiagnosed with mood or anxiety disorders instead of having hormone-driven issues identified

When oestrogen spikes, histamine can flood your system — worsening migraines, rage, insomnia, and gut issues. Add in the daily load of ADHD parenting, and no wonder you feel like you’re falling apart.

You’re Not Broken. You’re Ignored.

The narrative says women who struggle are:
Hysterical
Anxious
Overreacting

But you’re not broken. You’re not “too much.” You’re living in a body that medicine barely studies, in a system that dismisses you before it listens.

ADHD mums don’t need more blame. We need doctors who ask why.

What Can You Do?

While the system is slow to catch up, here are some survival strategies:

• Track your cycle and symptoms — look for patterns in migraines, sleep, rage, and bleeding.
• Learn your histamine triggers — certain foods (like aged cheese, red wine, or leftovers) can worsen symptoms.
• Advocate for yourself — bring data, patterns, and language into appointments. Refuse to be brushed off.
• Connect with other ADHD mums — the power of hearing “me too” can break the shame spiral.

These aren’t fixes — because you don’t need fixing. They’re survival tools while the system catches up.

Final Word

If you’ve been dismissed as “just anxious,” you’re not alone. ADHD mums are living in bodies that science barely bothers to study, colliding with hormones that make every meltdown harder.

You’re not broken. You’re not too much.
You’re exhausted from surviving biochemistry that the system keeps ignoring.

And if you’ve been told it’s all in your head — it’s not. It’s in your hormones, and you’re not the only one living it.

Hear the full episode: HORMONES: Histamine + Hormones – Why You Feel Like You’re Falling Apart — streaming now on Spotify, Apple Podcast, or adhdmums.com.au