Jane McFadden:

Hello and welcome to the next episode of ADHD Mums, where you have the much-anticipated topic of binge eating and ADHD. And I was pretty desperate to find someone who would be able to share a personal story for relatability. This podcast is all about relatability and about people seeing themselves in other normal, air quotes, whatever normal is, ADHD mums or other mums in Australia.

This is an Australian podcast. I went on an Australian ADHD female page and I managed to find Denise, who we welcome very warmly, who was able to or wanting to or willing to share her story. So welcome to you, Denise.

Denise Stojceski:

Thank you. Thanks very much, Jane. Lovely to be here.

Jane McFadden:

So we’re going to do a little background on Denise. So Denise was diagnosed with ADHD last year, which was March 2022. She was 42 years old. She commenced medication and she was immediately surprised with not only how much her appetite reduced, but also the messages to the brain telling her that she needed the chocolate or the lollies was in fact switched off.

It was then that she realised that she relied on food as emotional comfort. This was especially relevant during COVID and working from home when Denise would eat out of boredom or stress. But she had dismissed this as purely emotional eating, not actually a binge eating disorder.

Prior to her ADHD diagnosis, Denise was initially assumed a binge eating disorder involved eating an entire packet of Tim Tams in one sitting, as an example. Denise has not actually ever done that, by the way, but that’s just an example. But perhaps have three of them twice a day, and then also a couple of rows of chocolate twice a day, one or two biscuits, and then dessert, then equals actually quite a lot of food.

So Denise, looking back, was in denial. She says, this isn’t me, and had no idea of the impact that binge eating has on ADHD. Denise commencing ADHD medication has managed to get that under control. And we really wanted to explore what that looked like for her pre and post diagnosis and how that’s made a big impact.

So thanks, Denise, for giving me such an in-depth bio. I think that really sets the tone for the episode.

Denise Stojceski:

Beautiful. Not a problem, Jane. Thank you. Yeah, that’s me. I like to overexplain, I guess.

Jane McFadden:

I think a lot of ADHD brains as well do the same thing. So lots of detail. I actually read your bio and I thought, I know exactly where we’re going. This is great.

So okay, so Denise, let’s take a step backward from the bio and talk about how was the diagnosis journey like for you? What were you like pre-diagnosis? What led you to get diagnosed? Because everyone’s always interested in that kind of story.

Denise Stojceski:

Yeah, of course. So basically, I was actually diagnosed with ADHD by my psych, my psychologist, who I started seeing in May 2021. Like many people, again, during COVID, I didn’t realize that my anxiety was actually initially diagnosed as generalized anxiety disorder by my psychologist. But thinking everyone else is anxious. It’s fine. It’s normal.

I was doing a mental health first aid course when I looked and went, Oh, this isn’t actually, this is me to a T for generalized anxiety disorder. So I’d already been seeing my psychologist. He basically, yeah, so after it initially diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder, I think in about November 2021, I did in one of our sessions, just happened to ask him about whether I had experienced a concussion as a teenager, falling off a horse.

I wanted to know if it was still going to affect my focus and concentration because I still had trouble concentrating all these years later. So that for him tweaked the ADHD sort of path. I have a family member who has it as well. My kids have it. So he kind of went, okay, right, let’s dig a little deeper.

So I was, once he did the, we did the questionnaires, he, once I, I think I only had to wait about three months. Luckily, I was very fortunate to get into a psychiatrist. So I wasn’t waiting too long. It felt, of course, still felt like the longest wait when you’ve looks like I’ve got it.

But, and I was never being terrified of commencing medication thinking, what if it changes me? What if it totaled, like I’d never tried any depressants for that same reason. I was terrified of it numbing my emotions. I’m a very emotional person. So, but knowing that, well, this could, after a family member of mine has taken medication, he had said it was a big change for him.

So that’s how I was diagnosed was through my, my therapist who actually has ADHD himself too. So he kind of tweaked, I think a few, few different things. So yeah, I think that answers that question.

 

Jane McFadden:

I believe if there were any other questions, Jane. So what is the medication path like with you in terms of, did it, did you have to trial a few, did it work straight away? What did that initially feel like?

Denise Stojceski:

Yes. So initially, so they tried me on their short acting and it did, like, I was lucky enough to not have to go through a big trial. The first time I took the thing fee was the dexamphetamine short acting within 20 minutes.

It hit, it was like a, it just went quiet in my brain and it was like, Oh my gosh, what, what’s just happened? Like it actually, it was, it was quite jarring because when you’re used to noise and fuzz in your brain, 20, pretty much 24 seven, cause don’t sleep very much. You cannot believe how quiet it is.

And so that’s, I remember that’s what my psychiatrist did say. He said, if you have it and you take these, you will know, it’ll tell you if it’ll work, it will hit you. That’ll prove it.

Even though he knew I bought him my report cards from school. I’m a bit of, luckily I’m a bit of a hoarder with that stuff. So the, I had those and that for him was the big, Oh yes, you’ve had this since childhood because it was always that same thing.

And many of our report cards, I think all of us say the same thing. Oh, she should just try it harder. If, if she stopped talking, she could just focus better or stop daydreaming and all of that.

So that for my psychiatrist, yeah, gave him that. Yes. So yeah, we did the short acting for 12 months and then I moved over to the long acting January this year.

Jane McFadden:

And so that was no problem either. Was that the Vyvanse then you’re on now?

Denise Stojceski:

Yes. I’m on the Vyvanse now.

Jane McFadden:

Beautiful. And do you do a top up with the Dex or do you just do the Vyvanse once a day?

Denise Stojceski:

No, no, I’ve just doing the Vyvanse once a day. I’m on the 40 grams. So that seems to tie me through. I don’t seem to get a crash or anything like that.

I remember being initially concerned going from asking him, like, am I going to go through a week of no sleep at all because of my body getting used to it? He said, no, because you’re on stimulants already. You should just basically cruise through. And he was right. I didn’t feel any different.

So I have heard people say, there’s a friend of mine say that dexamphetamine is good for clearing the mind, because I will say, and I think a lot of people will agree here, that you get that honeymoon period with meds. No one told me that. You get that first week where it is bliss.

It is just, oh my God, the best. And then obviously your body gets used to it. And so it’s never quite there, but it’s so much better.

Like I got to a point that I was even thinking, do I even have ADHD? Because I got so used to that new normal. So it wasn’t until one morning, I think I didn’t take my meds until, it might’ve been about, I normally take them at seven and it was about 8.30.

I hadn’t taken them yet. I was cooking us all some breakfast and I flipped out because I didn’t have the, couldn’t find the recipe. So I was trying to remember it and I didn’t get it at a hundred percent correct, perfectionism, right. And I lost it. I burst into tears.

And that’s when I was like, right, okay. That’s the medication. That’s what curbs a lot of that. That’s what the anxiety is as well. It brings out that whole, oh, the sky is falling, the worst case scenario. Like really, it was some French toast. It was not that logically, but the brain, it definitely calms it down.

So the Vyvanse works. It doesn’t quite quiet the chat up, but it brings down the anxiety still. So it’s much, much better. And I think my husband noticed a lot more laid back. I feel a lot more laid back with the kids.

When my daughter, she’s like a mother, very emotional. If she has big emotional meltdown, I can actually go, okay, and be calm instead of before I would react myself and get into a panic, anxiety. So it’s absolutely game changing, most definitely.

Jane McFadden:

So being diagnosed at 42, how has that impacted you in terms of how you felt? Did you feel relieved? Did you feel ripped off? Did you feel cheated for the first 42 years of your life? How has that impacted you?

Denise Stojceski:

Oh, it was a hundred percent. It was like all of those emotions in stages. So after, because I’m still a same therapist, that is the biggest thing too, having that regular check-in with him. Once I got the diagnosis, it was that realisation of A, I’m not alone.

I have a reason for the way I am because I’ve always been an outsider, being bullied as a child or just never fit in anywhere. I could never find any of my people. And it’s only been through the last couple of years, I actually have through down the nice little tribe and most of us are all neurodivergent.

So it explains a lot and then we just get it. But yeah, it also kind of just made me think about my core beliefs because I grew up thinking I was dumb. I thought I’ve had a lot of skull injuries. I’ve tripped over a lot. That’s, I think the spraxia falling over. Accidents seems to come to me. I’ve had a lot.

I always thought I’ve literally lost a whole bunch of brain cells. So I’m dumb because I take forever to pick up. I don’t, might not understand jokes or it takes me a little longer to understand jokes and also might not be able to hear them because of the audio speech delay. So it’ll take me a little while for it to, ah.

So I always used to get that thing back when blonde jokes were saying, are you blonde? Were you born blonde? And for people who can’t see me, I’m a brunette. So it was constant, just that thing of, oh, duh, you know, what’s wrong with you?

So I couldn’t understand why kids in class, like they could just answer questions on the spot, like straight away and soak up all of that information and just recall it. Well, because again, it just took me a little while longer. I’d be daydreaming because I think I only really excelled at English.

So spelling and writing that they were my, and obviously maths and science. Yeah, no way I failed those epically. So I spent a lot of, once I’d sort of through that reassessing, my core values also got that grief, that grief, like you mentioned of the life I could have had, like how different my life could have been if I was, if I was diagnosed as a child.

But when I mentioned that to my therapist, he very gently pointed out, Denise, even if that were possible, and you were diagnosed back 30 odd years ago, the medication back then, no, it wasn’t that great. And it probably could actually have made things worse. The side effects could have exacerbated it to happen.

So yeah, things happening for a reason. So he also recommended I do an IQ test because here I was thinking I’m below average IQ because of how dumb I am. And I’m like, no, I can’t do any sort of tests. I’ve got to exam anxiety. No, no, no, no, no. But I said, there’s no wrong answers. You just do it.

So I went and did it and found out that I’ve got an above average IQ. And I looked at him going, this can’t be right. He’s like, no, this is what I’m trying to tell you. You are highly intelligent. And I know I’ve got emotional intelligence, definitely because I’m an empath.

But I never assumed there was any sort of actual intellectual intelligence or not much of it. And even just noticing the difference, like when I first started, just when I got diagnosed, I’d just started a new career path in penetration testing, so ethical hacking. And so brand new path, a lot of information.

Before medication, I remember doing the training, like just labs, online labs, and just giving up and getting on my phone because it just got too hard. But with the medication after that, I can remember just getting this drive going, I can do this, I can do this, just keep going. That focus.

And I was smashing it. I smashed out more labs, I think, than anybody in all of the, out of my cohorts. So it just proved that, yes, I’ve got the intelligence there. It just needs some of the focus. I needed that assistance, the medication to assist with the focus and something that I already loved doing.

But it was just that. And now I’m in the industry, I’m now loving the job, love the work. So it’s definitely realizing that, A, the meds help, but also it helps having a job or something you’re interested in. In school, I wasn’t interested in learning the stuff they teach.

I know my maths is terrible. I still use my fingers to count. But at the end of the day, like, well, I’ve got through it and I’ve got enough to get me by. But now I think I’m at that point now, I’ve grieved it. And now it’s like, no, it happened for a reason.

And now just that greater understanding of, wow, so it all makes so much sense now. That, so this is why I reacted this way. And it was never my fault as such. It’s just, no, this is how my brain has perceived something. It’s not me cracking up. It’s a change in routine.

Like I get into such a tease about it. And like, oh, no, that’s not my fault. It’s just literally my brain. There’s very much a very empowering knowing that there was, there was never anything wrong. That’s the big key takeaway. Never anything wrong with me.

Definitely with all the rise in ADHD diagnosis now that more and more people, I’m finding more and more ADHD people, neurodivergent people, it’s like they’re just everywhere now and we’re gravitating to each other. And it’s like, this is, it’s like family. It sounds really, that sounds so cliched, but it’s true. Like we all get each other.

Jane McFadden:

So definitely, definitely. You can see how though, that kind of negative messaging at school has then affected your self-esteem.

Denise Stojceski:

Oh, God, yeah. And RSD on top of it. I would be like sitting in a truck and as a grown up, I’d be sitting on a train and hearing some teenagers laughing and my brain would go straight away. They’re laughing. They’re laughing at you. And it would just be that it stuck with me for forever.

And even I’d run into anyone from high school and straight away, I would go back to my attitude. Everything just went back to who I was in high school. I hated that. But it’s like, now it’s like, no, embrace it. And I’m proud to be who I am. So for anyone else, to them, if they have any problems with that.

Jane McFadden:

Oh, absolutely. And this is why I’m so passionate about this podcast, because I think if we can spread the message, what ADHD looks like in females, then girls will go through, whether they’re medicated or not, but they’ll go through with the awareness of who they are, why they are, and also maybe aware as well of the tiny square box that school is.

And there’s only one way forward and if you don’t fit in the box, you’re out. And actually, the world, once you graduate school, I think has become more neuro-friendly. I think, I really believe it has. And I think you can pick so many different pathways. You can have some very flexible working arrangements.

If you find the right position for yourself, you can create your own business, you can create as well. So there’s lots of different career paths and way forward in the world. However, the schooling system, in my personal opinion, hasn’t caught up to that.

I think we’re still in the square peg, sorry, the square hole. And if you don’t fit inside that, then you’re different. You don’t belong. You’re over there. You’re segregated. I think that’s still happening. But maybe if we all can continue talking as we are, that might then change at some point.

Denise Stojceski:

I definitely think so. I think the good thing, like I know that my children, that the amount of kids who are now obviously diagnosed as well, back when I was a kid, there weren’t very many of us. And now it’s like half, if not more, of the cohort to school are all neurodivergent.

So there’s no one who’s being singled out or no few people being singled out by other kids about it because it’s not, it takes out some of that bullying aspect, I think, because they all tend to gravitate together now that they all hang out and look out for each other.

Well, when I was in school, there was maybe one, two, three of us in primary school that would hang out together out of a whole grade. So the outcasts. And so now it’s like now you’re not an outcast, but the education system in itself, yes, that whole, there’s a blanket method to education instead of how about we find something that works for every kid because everyone learns differently.

This is the thing, neurodivergent or not, people have different ways of learning. So they really got to start embracing that, getting that personalized. Yeah, how they’ll do it, but it’d be great if they could just personalize it for each student. So it’s like whichever way you learn best, you do you.

And then with my kids, I’m grateful for the school that they do understand that if my son does, oh, if he wants to switch off a little bit every now and then, he listens. He said, his teacher said he listens, he gets the important stuff. That’s all I’m concerned about.

Of course, you want to switch off a little bit in the afternoon, he might just stay off in the space, but he said he’s getting it. So they at least understand that and movement breaks and all of that, that schools tend to do that when they do have a plan for kids and stuff once they’re diagnosed. But yes, still a long way to go.

Neuro places are definitely further ahead than what schools are, a hundred percent.

Jane McFadden:

Yeah, absolutely. Because it may not be the neurodivergence in our brain that disadvantages, it might be the lack of self-esteem or the negative messages from a young age. I mean, I don’t know, who knows what, what does what, but I do think if you’re receiving a lot of negative messages throughout the day at school, how would you build the same self-esteem as somebody else who gets positive reinforcement a lot at school? I don’t think that would be comparable.

Exactly. Now, Denise, let’s talk about emotional eating and ADHD. Let’s talk about how it started. Give us the story on that.

Denise Stojceski:

Yeah. So basically, like I mentioned with the biography, I didn’t know being an emotional eater until COVID lockdowns and being in place. I’d struggled with keeping my weight at a manageable level since having my kids. My youngest is like the eight, but as a child, I forever had a sweet tooth and was really picky eater, didn’t want to eat my and it just was always indulging in the sweet stuff naturally, had high metabolism, stick thin, so it never went anywhere when it came to the weight at that point.

But looking back like now, I think, yeah, as a teenager, I’d go head to the shops after school, go buy some Pringles or chocolate, and I’d actually sneak it into my bedroom and eat it in secret while reading a book. So I would lie in my bed with this food under a doona so that if mum or my stepdad knocked and came in, they wouldn’t see me eating it.

So that, again, is a big, oh, my God, I was eating in secret, again, should have been a big telltale sign. I didn’t realise that, again, didn’t know anything wrong with it. Was anything wrong with it? Because I used it as an escape from school, an escape from just all of that. This was retreating to a book and I’ve got my yummy food.

It was company, I guess, as well, escape the loneliness. But obviously, yeah, once I hit 18 and I was already very thin, but I’ve got glandular fever, so I got down to 42 kilos in a week and I lost like eight kilos. It was ridiculous.

So I was trying to put on weight at that point. And yeah, so I tried eating pies, chocolate, Coke for breakfast. My colleagues, my first job, remembered for years that, oh, yep, that I’d have my Coke and just have that chocolate and Coke for breakfast, go to the gym, bulk up.

Eventually, that worked going to the gym, obviously, gave me a bit of muscle. But of course, like all of us, by the time I hit my mid-twenties, the metabolism decreased and the weight slowly increased, but very, very slowly, due to those poor food choices. But after commencing the medication, it was amazing to find that that urge and that craving just instantly stopped.

Obviously, partly due to appetite, it drops as well, but it was that want, the brain going almost salivating, but you can actually almost taste the food. So your brain would start to go, oh, I could do with a chocolate and obviously habit as well. But when I was on medication, that stopped.

And even if I actually had a bit of chocolate, it was like, there was no buzz behind it anymore. It was just, this is sweet. It’s sweet tasting, but there was no, oh my God, this is so good. This tastes just so delicious.

It was just a, and so at first felt a little bit, a little bit sad, then realizing that sad because it was like, where’s my buzz? And then realizing, ha ha, no, it’s the binge eating. And that’s what it actually was. And the medication was actually filling that gap, giving me that dopamine that I was actually seeking through eating.

So, and then doing obviously all the research that people with ADHD, of course, have a higher chance of addiction or cravings towards those unhealthy habits, food, alcohol, drugs, whichever. There’s that same want, that same, you have to have to satisfy that need. So the medication, it just, it just switched it off. It was, yeah, it was a big revelation.

So yeah, that was the, I think that’s, that’s probably, yeah.

Jane McFadden:

Does that, again—

No, no, absolutely. Absolutely. I wanted to ask you, I did a bit of reading about emotional eating and ADHD, and I read there was a couple of different things going on. I’d just like to know your thoughts from a person who’s experienced it.

So I read firstly that people with or women with ADHD can really struggle with eating and weight and health in regards to the executive function that needs to come into place. So for example, instead of just making a proper lunch, they will then go and go, that’s too many steps.

It’s too complicated. Telling someone to meal prep could be completely overwhelming because you have to buy all the food, do the recipe, make it all, put it into containers, put it in the freezer and then bring it out in certain times. Those steps can be completely overwhelming.

So there’s a few different theories around executive function and the amount of steps it takes and the frustration that goes along with preparing a healthy meal and then also emotional eating. And I was wondering what that kind of looks like for you, that interplay.

Denise Stojceski:

Yeah. So, well, it’s funny you should say that too. Like I’ve never been a real cook myself, was not a fan of cooking. Obviously the same thing, I’ll just, I’ll just grab takeaway. And even as a kid, I used to just have tuck shop every day. I think mum was, my mum was probably like, nope, that’s because it’s the only thing I’d eat. So eat bad food, but at least I was eating something.

So again, so didn’t really think once I started to sort of get the idea of learning a little bit how to cook, I had to, I knew I had to have a recipe. I was never one of those people who could just throw a little bit of this and that in, no need to follow those instructions. But I now, so it was only being, I think back when, it was just before I felt pregnant with my daughter, I went on Michelle Bridges diet, the food that, so that was a lot.

I remember struggling, but I, it worked because I lost the weight, but I also had at the time, a toddler, when he was down for a sleep, I would use that to meal prep and the food was good and everything. And I lost the weight, but then I had my daughter and then, yeah, that, but two multiples, any chance of that sort of stuff just went out the window. I had no spare time to do it.

So the way it came back on, unhealthy eating kicked back in again. But since early last year, my husband and I have been using not just HelloFresh. And what is so good about that is obviously like a lot of these other ones that they give you the food, you’ve just got to prep it and you’ve got it all written down and it takes out, it cuts out probably, and with the medication helping too, probably cuts out about 50% of that, the stress.

I do know if my kids interrupt me, I do have to just say, hold on, because I’m just, it’s getting, otherwise I’ll get flustered because I just need to follow what I’m doing. I need to be able to concentrate on that. So it is still there. There is still that executive functioning that as people will say, medication is not a cure, not by all means, it is just a little aid to help.

So I think that, that seemed to be the right balance, the HelloFresh, because you’re still getting your healthy food. You are making it, but you’re not having to go tackle the shops and trying to find everything.

I’m still executive functioning-wise with grocery shopping. I hate doing the online shopping because you can’t get exactly what you want. So not always. So I end up going down to my Woolworths, our local Woolworths. It’s a bit quieter, but I go at 7, 7am in the morning because I’m an early bird. I avoid the crowds.

It’s bliss. I’ve got my voice cancelling earphones on and it’s just nice. So I can get it all done in one hit. It’s all done early in the morning on a Saturday morning and I don’t have to worry about groceries.

But with things like these HelloFresh, it takes out that, that stressful part of having to find exactly what you need and trying to navigate the shops. Like, oh, I’m trying to find this particular ingredient. It’s just, yeah, so much better. I find that helps. It’s all those little things, the little life hacks you find along the way that like I said, it’s not a cure. It’s just to help make things that little easier.

My husband and I just went to the chemist mid-morning this morning. Again, I normally go first thing on a Saturday morning if I have to get my meds picked up and it was chaos. Absolute fully busy. And yeah, I’m just reminding myself this is why I come early and just, I kept mostly calm, but yeah, I’m not still not a friend of those crowds.

And I will, my therapist has done a thing of, I want you to feel uncomfortable and go during those crowded times. And I did, of course, I guess to prove that you didn’t die, you survived, you made it through. You find those little things to make life easier. It’s not always about avoidance. It’s just to keep your peace, keep your mind centered and why put unnecessary stress on yourself if you don’t have to, right?

Jane McFadden:

Oh, absolutely. And I think we should acknowledge as well, that takeaway is an easier option a lot of the time. So if you have a brain that doesn’t, you struggle to organize, there’s the recipe, you’ve got kids running around.

Often the environment can be quite chaotic. You might have a child that goes, Oh, actually I’ve got this due tomorrow. Now you’re sitting down with that child. So when it’s chaotic, that fast food is probably just a really, what’s the right word when you’re thinking about it and tempting, tempting, it’s a tempting as opposed to going and cooking properly. Tempting. Yeah.

And the other thing is as well, I do was wondering whether you found was if you’re hyperfocusing on something specifically, would you then find that you snack more than eating a proper meal because of just speed and time and rushing? Does that ever impact or do you not eat or how do you?

Denise Stojceski:

The reason I would actually eat is just because I’ve got my, I look at the clock and go, okay, I have to eat not because I’m hungry, but I know that I’ve just recently started cutting out snacking. Cause it’s like, no, cause I’m starting to develop bad habits again. Like, okay, I’m not actually enjoying this, but I’m doing it out of habit and realizing that sugar is just not, I’ve got arthritis and my hips started hurting and I’m like, yeah, that’s probably what it is.

So I’ve cut that out and my hip is actually starting to, yeah, it’s eased up. So it’s starting to, I think I’m now telling myself too, when it comes to the sugary stuff that stop looking at it as depriving, cause you can still have it, but just think that I need it to be able to make the meds work properly. I need it to be able to make my joints work properly.

But when it comes to eating throughout the day, look, when I’m hyper-focused, it’s more about things like going to the toilet. I will hold on, but I need to, because I’m like, no, I just, I’ll go after I’ve finished this. I’m just really engrossed in this, this particular exercise right now.

I’ve got to just finish that. And I’ll keep doing that over and over and over until obviously really, cause like a kid really have to go now and then away I go. But as I said, I think if it weren’t for the fact that I’d look at a clock and go, I need to eat now, I probably would just keep going, coasting through until eventually I’d probably get a headache because yeah.

And I’m drinking water, lots of water too, to try and curb that because yeah. If I think my body will start telling me if I’m pushing myself too hard, I do get the postural headaches and that sort of stuff. And like, right.

And my German shepherd, who’s normally here, they’re at the groomers today, but she also will come up and want to play. So she gets me away from the desk to break out of it a little bit, because if I spend too long in front of this, the computer, I do start getting agitated too. So even though I love doing what I’m doing, you’ve got to have that break.

Regardless, you’ve got to snap out of it as much as it’s very hard because your brain wants to just keep going.

Jane McFadden:

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.

So what advice would you have for anyone who’s listening that’s struggling with emotional eating? Like what kind of things do you think has really helped you move forward?

Denise Stojceski:

I think when it comes down to it, if there’s anyone who feels like they’re just mindlessly going to the pantry or the fridge and just forever thinking about food, how good it tastes, I’d initially just be encouraging them to do things like start a food diary, but also just start noting the mood you’re at.

My psychiatrist has an app called Soul app, I think it is. And there’s lots of those ones where you can put your mood, what you’re feeling at the time, because if it’s emotional eating that’s actually triggering it, it could be a case of just digging deeper, find out what’s that cause of emotional eating or is it just you’re bored or are you actually hungry?

Okay, if you’re hungry and you’ve had food, you need to have water, you need to drink more water because you’re probably actually thirsty. So going through, really trying to, and there’s also obviously going down, I didn’t do this myself personally, but the dieticians and nutritionists route as well to help curb the way of thinking.

I know myself when I’m eating better and when I do cut out that sugar, I feel better, my mood lifts. So I think it’s a case of working through that first. If anyone finds they’re also experiencing that ADHD, any of those symptoms, then on top of that emotional eating, then strongly would be urging them to go seek a diagnosis just because it’s obviously very much, if you’re diagnosed, it’s a life-changing event. So, and it’s just very liberating at the same time with it.

There’s nothing ever wrong. And the biggest piece as well, advice, regardless, is be kind to yourself because especially women, we are our own worst critics and we are so hard on ourselves and we don’t give ourselves enough of that.

We’re too busy doing everything for everyone else and we don’t actually step back and go, okay, this is what I tell myself if I’m ruminating on negative thoughts is, okay, would I be speaking to my best friend like this? Would I actually be telling them this?

No, no, I wouldn’t. So why am I saying it to me? Why am I saying that to myself? And it definitely helps snap out of that. And it’s the same thing with eating.

I’ve even just thought about this recently is the eating like to you absolutely full to the brim and feeling absolutely horrible afterwards. It’s like, what would you do that to your kids? Continually just feed them all this stuff, eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it all up, eat all of that junk food up, eat it all, eat it all.

You wouldn’t. So it’s the being kind to yourself in every way, regardless. It’s just the biggest, biggest piece, but definitely just working out the root cause because there’s got to be a reason for it. It’s not just, and yeah, this is where I said COVID was the silver lining.

It got people, a lot of people thinking about their habits and mental health on top of that. But definitely when researching about ADHD, I think this is the one thing I, since a lot of people I think do after diagnosis is you actually hyper-focus on that.

My poor husband is all I’ve spoke about. He’s very typical. So he’s been very understanding, but I think even now and then inwardly, I could know he was thinking, oh, really? Again, it’s backed off a bit now and I think he’s just used to it, but I’ll show him a meme or something and go, check this out.

This is so mean. Or this is, it’s just, yeah, very much a life-affirming event.

Jane McFadden:

Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. I went on date night the other night and I found myself going back to that topic over and over again. And I was like, what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I, why can’t I get off this topic? But just because it’s just, you’re just excited and you’re aware and you just want to, I don’t know what it is.

It’s such an ADHD trait though, to then talk about ADHD. Well, I used to have my calendar, my calendar link on the website. So I used to have a link to my diary on the website and I went through a period of just really busy for a couple of weeks and I was noticing emails coming in with meetings, but I just wasn’t paying attention to it.

Like, oh, it’ll be okay. And then I opened up my calendar like after school holidays or something. And I realized that all of these ADHD women who wanted to share had booked like just this incredible amount of interviews into my calendar.

And I thought, why would I put my calendar link on the website to a heap of people who want to share their story? Like, what a silly thing to do. And then because it was unmonitored. And then I was like, well, I can’t cancel these people now because it’s too late.

And it ended up being fine because it was pretty early on and my processes weren’t as good as they are now. So I noticed that we had like a 50% drop off at that point. So actually a lot of people canceled and ended up being fine.

But I have removed that link because I do have noticed that, yeah, a lot of ADHD women do then hyper-focus, research extensively, want to share. And then I was just finding that I was just inundated with people wanting to share.

Denise Stojceski:

Overwhelming. Oh my gosh. Yes. This is the thing. But it’s so good that people are now talking about it too, that we are actually being able to share that. But yeah, it’s so…

And I can see why you did it in the first place though, was to be transparent with people and say, you know, come on in. I just, you probably weren’t expecting the influx of women.

Jane McFadden:

Yeah, I just realized it picked up really quick and then I was just not realizing it. I was like, oh wow, actually now I have way too many guests.

Thank you so much for your time, Denise. It’s been such a pleasure. I really appreciate it. I know emotional eating affects so many ADHD women.

So I think a lot of people will get some really helpful tips and I think high levels of relatability from this podcast episode. So thank you so much for your time.

Denise Stojceski:

Oh, thank you, Jane. Thank you so much for having me as well. And really it’s been, it’s my first time speaking on any sort of podcast. So it’s been a really great experience as well.

And yeah, I hope that I can, if I can just get through to even one woman out there, I’d be more than happy that we can start, I don’t want to use that term, change the world, but you know what I mean, make an impact.

Jane McFadden:

Oh, I think we can impact it. We can impact it. But look, if anyone’s listening to this and they are loving it, then please leave a review on Spotify or Apple podcasts. Reason being is we want to spread the message to as many Australian women as possible.

So at the moment, the UK and the US podcasts are still reaching up and above ADHD Mums, which is an Australian podcast. So we do want to spread the message because I still see a lot of women and men talking about how they would like to hear more Australian ADHD podcasts.

So if you know anyone who’s interested, please send the message on and share our posts and keep DMing. I always reply to everybody.

So thank you so much, Denise. So much appreciated.

Denise Stojceski:

Thanks so much, Jane. Have a wonderful day.